Welcome to my blog

Hello and welcome to my blog!
I have been a holding out on creating a personal blog, I do one for work and really wasn't sure I had anything interesting to say or share outside of that.  However, what I have realized is that I have a lot to say and share as well as a lot to hear and learn.

I'll give you a bit of background on me to put it all in context.  In my teens, 20's and early 30's I was convinced that I would never get married and have children - life was to be lived and I needed my freedom.  Then my mid-thirties came and I started to look at my friends that had settled into coupledom quite happily and many had kids (and liked it!).  My biological clock suddenly realized it was supposed to tick and with no potential partner at hand I started to wonder if I had made the right decisions in my life.  Needless to say I did get married (just under the wire of forty) and we decided to start a family which after years of trying not to seemed like it would be an easy thing to do.

I got pregnant quickly and was blissful until 6 weeks later when I miscarried.  Thus began a long road to having a baby.  I am one of the lucky ones that managed to only have to use fertility drugs (no IVF) but raging hormones and constant tracking of your cycle in addition to the let downs when it doesn't work took a toll on my self-esteem and my relationship.  Our second daughter was conceived on a last and final round of drugs and I think of her as my little miracle baby.  The toughest part of all of this was that my loving husband had no idea what I was going through and how to help me.  I felt isolated and it's not exactly dinner party conversation so I internalized everything and wished I had an outlet to guide me.  If you are ever in this situation, I urge you to find a support group or social group that has been been through infertility.

My first daughter was born 3 weeks and a day premature and while perfectly healthy she was petite at only 6lbs 12oz and she was lazy!  I struggled through eight weeks of trying to get her to breastfeed, pumping, tube-feeding and constant weigh-ins and lactation consultant appointments.  At 8 weeks my dear daughter turned the corner and latched on, and we were a much happier team.  If it was not for the amazing support I received from the Hamilton public health nurses and my husband who urged me to keep trying I would have given up.  This was the beginning of the realization that we as moms need a support network to share with, console, laugh and compare notes.  We have to raise each other to be great moms.  

Now with a five year old (in 2 weeks) and a two year old, I know that without other moms to confirm that I am not the only one generally driving myself crazy, I would be lost.  I troll the internet, read books and magazine articles and try to understand everything there is to being a mom but the best resource I have is my mommy village.

Welcome to my blog, I hope I can share stories, ideas and make your village a little bigger and a little better.